Being "Leaned On" by God
Marie-Louise Ternier-Gommers

Lenten Lunch, Tuesday April 3, 2001

John 19:25-27

"Leaning on the everlasting arms"
We're doing a lot of "leaning" this Lent:
Leaning on God, leaning on Scripture,
leaning on prayer, leaning on friends.
And that's good - it's good to stop and become more aware
where and from whom comes our strength, our comfort, our joy.

But today the "everlasting arms" are doing some leaning back.
In other words, we're being "leaned on."
Know what it feels like to be "leaned on?"

I don't know about you, but I sure feel "leaned on"
and not just by Jesus.
Take the computer world.
Anybody here familiar with computers?
If you have kids you know that computers are part of many kids' lives today.
Well, my kids are overjoyed.
Because finally, I am getting as frustrated with our IBM 486
as they have been for "years!"
So my first thoughts are to upgrade what we've got
or find a used machine somewhere.
I'm simply not prepared to spend over $1,000
every few years just to get the latest.
Well, I'm told that my present machine is not upgradable,
and if I buy a used one it won't run most of the programs
on the market today.
I feel forced to buy something new.
But I want to do that with the old mindset that
when you buy something expensive it's got to last
for at least five years to come.
And I'm told that that is not possible.
Because already within months of buying a new machine,
it will be considered "old," obsolete, outdated.
I don't like that, because it forces me to change my thinking.
Be darn if I'm gonna adopt the faster-better-bigger-most recent mentality.
I'm used to buying things that are going to last several years;
the bigger the expense, the longer it's supposed to last,
as far as I'm concerned.
But I feel "leaned on", pushed around by the industry to change.

Living in a house with young adults, I associate the expression
"being leaned on" with bouncers at a bar or dance,
or kids threatening to "lean on" somebody who makes their life miserable.

My kids do their share of "leaning" - on me,
especially when they need something (and that's pretty well all the time):
"I'll do dishes tonight, Mom - can I have the car?"
"I got a 95 on my math test - can I get $10?"
And how about this one:
"Mom, you're doing such a good job looking after us -
we're responsible and we tell you everything.
Why don't you and Dad spend the weekend on the farm
so we can have a party in town?
Trust us, we'll be fine." (Yea, right, trust them!)

And then there's the other way around: leaning on instead of being leaned on.

One time I suffered a sudden muscle spasm in my back.
Imagine being active and mobile one minute,
and incapable of moving the next.
In a split second my life was on hold.
Everything I planned to do - stopped dead in my tracks.
I was grateful for a son who is solidly built at 6'4.
I "leaned on" him to drag myself around when the need arose.

Many times I "lean on" my husband or a close friend,
especially when life hurts..
I have "leaned on" the promise of a reward when doing a difficult task.
I too try to lean on Scripture to guide me in how to live my life.
And yes, every day I try to lean more and more on God through Jesus.

I can add more,
and I'm sure you can add your own examples.
So we know what it's like to be "leaned on" or to "lean on" someone/something else.

Today we hear Jesus "leaning on" those who were close to him.
He tried to lean on the disciples the night before
when he was sweating in the garden of Getsemane.
That didn't work very well;
the disciples let him down, and fell asleep.
Now here he is, dying on the cross, bleeding and in pain.
It's all over, or will be very soon.
And what does he do?
In the midst of his dying he "leans on"
the beloved disciple to take care of his mother.
In the midst of his own crying need to be comforted,
he offers comfort to his mother
by giving her a home with the beloved disciple.
In other words: once I'm gone, take care of each other.

I had a friend once who died of cancer,
leaving behind a young wife and four children under ten.
The last time I saw him I cried in anger,
'cause I didn't want him to die.
He saw my tears and simply said:
"Just be there for my wife once I'm gone."

Any idea what it feels like to see your child die a cruel death?
Even with the disciple and some women friends there
that gruesome day before the cross,
Mary must have felt utterly alone, ripped apart by pain.
I bet it took every ounce of energy just to stand there, watching her son die.
And more, with her son dying,
especially if Joseph was no longer around either,
Mary was facing a very bleak future,
probably finding herself utterly destitute.
Because to be a woman alone in that society was not a good thing.
If you weren't attached to a man, a woman was a non-entity.
Jesus in this last moment, did more - way more - than comfort his mother.
By "leaning on" John, the beloved disciple, to take Mary into his home,
Jesus secured his mother's future in a society
that didn't care for widows or single women.

And just so, Jesus leans on us to take one another "into our home,"
especially at times of great pain, of mourning,
at the times we feel most abandoned and destitute.
St. Teresa of Avila who lived in the 16th century
used to say that Jesus has no hands but ours
to reach out in love,
no feet but ours to walk to the lonely,
no eyes but ours to see another's pain,
no ears but ours to hear the cry of the oppressed,
no heart but ours to love the world.

Jesus sure tried to make this point in several ways.
He wanted to make sure that we'd turn to one another.
He said we'd see him each time we give a cup of water
to one of the least among us.
Remember me, he said, each time you break bread and share wine,
Follow me, he said, and wash one another's feet.
On the cross, his love flooded the world:
This is my body broken for you,
my blood poured out for you.

Jesus did not just give us somebody "out there."
In his death, God reconciled the world,
and all that is in the world,
to Godself.
That is why every suffering of every "little one"
becomes our concern, becomes our responsibility,
simply because every "little one" is God's concern.
In our time when the world is truly becoming a "global village,"
where internet and telecommunications bring the crying need
of thousands, of millions, into our homes,
this concept of every suffering "little one" being our concern
is not far-fetched.
What happens in Africa is our concern as much as
what happens up the street in our neighbourhood.
Jesus gave us to one another and said:
take care of one another - for my sake.
You need no other reason than my love for you.
Yes, Jesus "leans on us" with a capacity for love
that makes us all tremble.
How can we possibly match this complete self-giving?
It's hard, and it's simple at the same time.
Just listen to Eva's experience:

John was on the phone again.
"Eva," he pleaded, "would you drive me to the ear doctor?
My hearing aids aren't working again!"
I wanted to say, "John, it isn't you hearing aids!
You are ninety-two years old and you are going deaf!"
Several weeks earlier the ear specialist tried to be gentle when he said,
"I'm sorry, John, there is nothing more I can do for you!"
Now he wanted to go back in case the doctor could help him.
I met John at our local Widow and Widowers Group.
Because he no longer drove I gave him rides to the meetings.
Gradually, as he got older, these rides included stops at the bank,
the grocery store, the post-office.
I did not mind at first, but as John became increasingly dependent
I would cry out to the Lord, "Help!
I don't have time to give John the help he needs. It is too much!"
Sometimes I pointed out the obvious.
"You need to be in a facility where they can help you, John!
You need help with meals, housework, laundry.
You shouldn't be living alone!"
Indeed John had a long parade of hired help to and from his apartment.
They came a few times, then stopped as the demand became greater.
Still John refused to go into a "home."
The mere mention of it aroused his anger.

Then things got worse. John's Depends began to leak.

I was at the end of my rope.
I loved John as a friend.
I cared about what happened to him but my patience wore thin.
I saw no solution.
Sunday came and I promised John I'd take him to church.
How he loved the sacred liturgy.
When I arrived at his apartment he was waiting outside,
dressed in his best suit.
He shaved and best of all he had taken a bath.
I was silently praising God.

After church was over John said, "Can we go somewhere for breakfast?"
We drove to a nice restaurant. John ordered a seafood omelette.
"Aren't we feeling extravagant today!" I teased him.
Our outing turned into a celebration,
even though I didn't know what we were celebrating.
Driving home John asked me to stop at Safeway and run in
to get him some ice cream and the Sunday paper.
When I dropped him off at home he sighed contentedly.
It was a good day. All the pieces seemed to fit into place.
When I left he said, "Eva, you'll pick me up tomorrow, won't you?
For the prayer meeting?"
"Yes John," I answered, "I'll pick you up at the usual time."
On Monday at 6:30 P.M. I phoned John to say I was on my way.
There was no answer.
I thought perhaps his hearing aids were turned off
so I stuck the keys to his apartment in my pocket.
I arrived and rang the doorbell -- no answer.
I went in.
John was sitting in his easy chair, his head to one side as if he were sleeping.
The newspaper had fallen to the floor.
The ice cream had melted in a dish beside him on the end table.
John was dead. He had been dead for hours.
I felt no panic, only a deep sense of God's mercy.
God heard my prayer -- and John's -- and had come to take him home.
I cried and thanked God.
I witnessed a glorious homecoming.

"Mother, behold your son.
Son, behold your mother."

Let us pray:
God our Creator and Redeemer,
we wish nothing more than to lean on your everlasting arms,
safe and secure from all alarm.
Help us to see that leaning on your holy and loving arms through your son Jesus
pushes us right into each other's arms.
Out of love your son Jesus died for us
and gave His life as a ransom for all without exception.
Help us to honour this free and extravagant gift of salvation
by holding one another in human arms of love
through which we offer to the world
your divine embrace.
AMEN

Western Canadian representation on ARCCC (Association for Roman Catholic Communicators of Canada) Marie-Louise Ternier-Gommers Richard Osicki (Winnipeg) Theresa Kirkpatrick (Saskatoon)

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